What therapy really is

Just like when an adult is the client, children's psychotherapy goes at the client's pace.  The relationship with their therapist is where they can explore their feelings and experiences with no expectation to do anything or be anyone but themselves.  

Some key ideas of individual child psychotherapy are:

Their feelings and experiences are validated and accepted by the therapist, and the child feels seen, and develops a stronger sense of self.  This can lessen a sense of anxiety that many children have, and strengthens their identity.  

The therapeutic space is where the child can try out new ways of being and behaving, and then do the same in other relationships.  It's a kind of practice space for the outside world.

It's where they can express and work through feelings that may be not be tolerated or accepted elsewhere, which means that feelings are less likely to need defending against, which is often the root of antisocial or sabotaging behaviours.

In therapy, the therapist works with what the child brings to the room.  The therapist is likely to initiate a discussion about why the child is there, and then leave the child to use the relationship as they need to.  How the child does this is noticed, respected and sometimes guided by the therapist.

The therapist is respectful of defences and coping mechanisms that the child uses to make their lives easier, which may look like problem behaviour to parents.  The idea is that therapy puts the child is touch with their feelings and they become more tolerable, and so the problem behaviours no longer are used by the child.

The therapist won't be able to bring up directly specific topic or problems as instructed by parents, because the client needs to trust the relationship is for them.  The therapist will relate what is happening in the room to the client's relationships outside of the room, when they think it will be tolerable and useful for the child.

What often happens is that with the child's consent, the therapist will talk to the parents and caregivers about how the child is thinking and feeling, and use that as a basis for caregiving and parenting recommendations.

Below is a link from www.robyngobbel.com with some more ideas about what therapy really is.